While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is just because tright here is no such point.

You are watching: The things dr bright is not allowed to do

Tbelow is no market for SCP brand also pornography. 1.No, not even in Germany type of.

Victims of SCP-217 are not toys. 1.Nor are they to be supplied as props at a Steampunk Convention.

. Not even for recreational use.

Not permitted to send Nigerian-esque spam email to the Church of the Broken God.

Not permitted to end reports through lyrics from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". 1.But is enabled to finish with lyrics from the Safety Dance. 2.The interpretive dance routine, yet, is forbidden till he gets lessons for the foreseeable future.

Dr. Bideal is NOT: A superhero of any type of sort, Head of Public Relations, in charge of Orientation for brand-new staff, a medical professional of psychology, a member of Site Command also, made out of bacon, in possession of a IQ over 300, Head of SCP Resee, or a member of Maintenance Staff. (Sorry boys, Dr. Bideal IS a member of Site Command also. It's generally finest not to ask why. It's O5 Command you're reasoning of.)

No much longer permitted to comprise jodies for morning calisthenics. 1.Yes, this consists of The Micvital Mousage Club song.

Dr. Bideal is not allowed to use SCP-963 to any type of significant political numbers. Aacquire.

Dr. Bappropriate is not from an alternate timeline. 1.Dr. Bright cannot problem orders to "keep the timeline". 2.Or to "corrupt the timeline". 3.Or to "screw with those background nerds".

1.Chainsaws are not the solution to eincredibly question.1.Nor is 'More Chainsaws'.2.Or "Chainwitnessed cannons"1.Except for that once. And yes, it was awesome.SCP speed dating never happened. Any one that clintends to remember such an occasion have to report to Site Command for management of Class A amnesiac.

Nothing in the Foundation is rated 'Over 9000.'

"My evil twin did it" is no much longer taken into consideration a viable excusage. 1.Nor is "My excellent twin did it," considering the implications.

Yes, forum trolls are annoying. No, they don't automatically end up being D-course personnel.

The "Ultimate Showdvery own of Ultimate Destiny" is not grounds to pit more than fifteenager combative SCPs, including SCP-682 and also Able, against each other. 1."Weeding out some of these angsty teenagers through attitude difficulties," yet, is. 2.Dr. Bright is not allowed to provide 'Free Hugs.'

The Foundation motto is "Secure, Contain, Protect", not any kind of of the following: 1."Stab Carrion Powerfully" 2."Let's use it on 682!" 3."Throw the cheese!" 4."That's it, you're on Keter Duty." 5."Can we put it in 914?" 6."Blood renders the grass thrive, kill, kill, kill!" 7."Fuck trees, I climb clouds motherfucker!" 8."Someone is getting stabbed." 1.But some days, it need to be. 9."Whose hand is that?" 10."If all else falls short, poop on it." 11."If all else fails, there's constantly the sunlight." 12."We require bigger kittens." 13."Society of Creepy Perverts." 14."Fuck Death, War, Scarcity and also Pestilence. We've acquired Clef, Gears, Kondraki and Bideal." 15."Throw D-Class at it till it stops." 16."447 and dead bodies, two excellent tastes that taste great together." 17."The FBI are a bunch of pansies." 18."Who desires to watch what I can make the president perform in public?" 19."For the Horde!" 20."Science for the Science God!" 21."Make sure to wipe your feet on 2558!" 22."When in doubt, feed it to 682." 23."Slapstick, Clowns and Puns" 24."Drop the blanket now!" 25."Seduction, Coitus, and also Pregnancy" 26."We constantly require even more Dakka!" 27."Still Alive, and Found the Cake" 28."Don't Worry, O5 won't ever number it out!" 29."Will it blend?" 30."Commies love us!" 31."Snap Crackle and Pop"

Dr. Bbest is no longer allowed to offer the solution of "Use more guns" to any trouble. 1.Or "Get bigger weapons."

Despite what he might say and any type of evidence, no issue just how plausible, the SCP Foundation has actually never and will certainly never be linked via Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and regardmuch less of what Dr. Bbest might say, he is not, and also I quote, "A actual life wizarding tutor." 1.Nor is he a vampire. That was body glitter and poor acting. 2.And despite what the computer system file on him may say, he is not Muad'dib. The spice deserve to flow simply fine without him.

Cthulhu and R'lyeh are not valid reasons to send Pandora's Box out right into the Pacific Ocean in order to capture them. In addition, these are not even SCPs, and I will certainly discover the perchild that decided to enter a database file for them.

Dr. Bright is not permitted to upload visual memetic kill agents to 4chan 7chan any type of imageboard. 1.Well, okay, maybe to 4chan. It'd be doing the gene pool a service.

Dr. Bbest is no much longer permitted to accept or use the following as payment for bets: 1.Your soul 2.Anyone else's soul 3.Virgin's blood 4.Reproductive organs 5.SCPs 6.Memories (actual or imagined) 7.Pieces of your past I have actually no idea how that worked through Clef, however supposedly he have the right to do it. 8.The island of Manhattan 9.Beads 10.Firstborn kids 11.Second-born youngsters 12.Red-headed stepchildren 13.Rented mules 14.Gold spun from straw 15.A child's laughter 16.A child's tears 17.Virginity 18.Ponies 19.Anyone's grandmom 20.Anyone's grandfather 21.Anyone's sister 22.Any blood relative

Dr. Bideal is not permitted to acquire on the PA mechanism at site 19 and announce that he just won The Video Game You recognize what, Dr. Bideal is simply never before allowed on the PA device for any type of factor, ever before.

Dr. Bappropriate is not permitted to dare new personnel anyone to play 'peek-a-boo' via either SCP-569 or SCP-173.

When ordering things digital, send them to PO Box ████ and not directly to Site 19. We've already had actually 3 postmen present up at the front door. (How did they also find us?) Dr. Bbest is not to give directions to Site 19 to non-Foundation personnel.

The SCP Foundation does not have any such position as "Chief Defenestrator". 1.Wrong. 1.Agent Clef is not enabled to produce new positions.

Dr. Bideal is not allowed to usage SCP-914 to craft items from Team Fortress 2. 1.Yes, a Medigun would be a helpful tool for the Foundation clinical staff. No, we are not going to waste any type of even more SCP-500 attempting to make one, especially not after SCP-427. 2.Dr. Bideal is not allowed to use SCP-914 to craft items from Minecraft, either. Also, your "Diamond Pickaxe" has been confiscated.

Dr. Bright possesses the capability of consciousness deliver and the artireality SCP-963. He does not possess any kind of of the following: 1."laser" eyes. 2."laser" nostrils. 3."laser" . 4.a Green Red ANY Lantern Ring. 5.an "adamantium" skeleton. 6.Anduril. 7.Mjolnir. 8.a map causing "ALL OF THE NAZI GOLD". 9.the "Ancient" medallion. 10.a copy of the Necronomsymbol. 1.A King James variation of the Necronomicon. 11.cybernetic implants of any type. 12.the "Dragonzord". I don't treatment just how you did it, put it BACK. 13.the 7th Element of Harmony. 14.infallible "gaydar". 15.infallible "jewdar". 16.the touch. 17.the power. 18.the "secret" 19.telepathy. 20.telekinesis. 21.the original filming model of any fictional spacecraft. 22.1337 H4x00r sKi11z. 23.the 6th sense. 24.The ability to identify between butter and also I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

SCP-963 is not a 'heart gem', and also making a contract with Dr. Bideal will not rotate you into a 'magical girl'. 1.Not even if he includes a 'magical girl outfit'.

SCP-963 is not the Soul Gem. Bideal does not have actually access to the Infinity Gauntlet. Please soptimal glaring at world that annoy you and also snapping.

Copies of SCP-1981 are not to be submitted to "America's Funniest Home Videos". 1.Or posted on YouTube. 2.Or on YouPorn. 3.Or to Tosh.0.

The adhering to are not proper sources for D-course personnel: 1.Temp agencies. 2.Craigslist. 3.Reality display talent pools. 4.Jerry Springer tapings. 5."Orphans." 6."Urchins." 7."Ragamuffins." 8."Those sons of bitches who scratched up my paint job at the vehicle wash." 9.Ex-girlfriends. 10.Ex-boyfriends. 11.Ex-partners of any kind of gender variation whatsoever. 12.Staff members' in-laws. 13.Youtube comment threads. 14.Forum trolls. 15.Angsty teenagers. 16.Bad applications to the SCP Foundation. Two exceptions have been made, but the remainder are off boundaries. 17.Occupy Wall surface Street. 18.The Tea Party. 19.The Eco-friendly Party. 20.The "Green" Party. 21.The Gathering of the Juggalos. 1.How the fuck execute they work?

The following items are not SCPs: 1.Rainbows. 2.Double rainbows. 3."Rainbooms", whether sonic or otherwise. 4.The tides. 5.The Moon. 6."Fucking magnets". 7.Rocks that skip 3 times before they go underwater. 8.Soy cheese. 9.Hippies. 10.Hipsters. 11."MILFs." 12."G-MILFs." 13."GG-MILFs." 14."Actually funny SNL skits" As these do not exist, they cannot be SCPs. 15.Anyone's breasts. 16.People who deserve to fix Rubik's Cubes (of any size). 17.Shiny Any Pokemon.

Dr. Bbest is not permitted to test internet "Creepypasta" rites using Class-D personal.

"Yo mama" is not "so ugly SCP-096 didn't look at her."

SCP-173 is not a babysitter. Having SCP-173 play 'Where's the baby?' is downappropriate cruel. Not, as Dr. Bbest clintends, ' hilarious.'

Playing the song "Thriller" in the visibility of SCP-008 victims is expressly forbidden. 1.Letting out SCP-008 victims and also punching them "to simulate Minecraft" is additionally forbidden. 2.Pushing a number of agents in front of SCP-008 victims "to simulate Resident Evil" is not a valid excuse, either. 3.Dr. Bideal is no longer allowed near victims of SCP-008.

Even if Dr. Bappropriate is wearing an eyepatch, he is not enabled to "Keel-Haul" anyone. 1.Not also on "Talk Like a Piprice Day". 2.Talk Like a Piprice Day is not allowed to be celebrated at Site ██. Any personnel violating this ascendancy will walk the plank be sevecount disciplined. 3.There is no such point as "Talk Like a Ninja" day, and Dr. Bright is not enabled to produce it.

Dr. Bappropriate is not allowed to play "SCP Roulette" via SCP-173, a light switch and also any combination of D-course and also new personnel.

Dr. Bideal is not permitted to "go on crusade". 1.Or on "jihad". 2.Dr. Bright is not allowed to concern fatwas versus anyone or anything.

Dr. Bideal is no much longer allowed to declare "After ten thousand also years I'm free! It's time to conquer Earth!" upon assuming a new organize.

Dr. Bideal is not, nor has actually he ever before been, the "Undisputed SCP Intercontinental Champion".

Dr. Bbest is no longer permitted to run via Site 19 any website while screaming "THE KETER IS LOOSE" unless it's an actual emergency. 1.Claiming it's for research on the results of social engineering is not an emergency. 2.Nor is making use of it to clear out the areas Dr. Bbest is otherwise restricted from entering due to factors provided on this list. 3.Dr. Bappropriate may not start referring to any persons or SCPs as "The Keter" in order to circumvent these rules, unmuch less they are actually classified as Keter.

Dr. Bideal is no much longer enabled to use the words "swag" , "swag it", "swagginator", "swaggify", or "super swag" to define himself or any kind of various other person(s).

Dr. Bright is not permitted to stop in a voice resembling a movie character. 1.Dr. Bright is not permitted to reenact any kind of movie. Even G-rated ones? Even G-rated ones.

Dr. Bappropriate is no much longer enabled to say "Everypoint the Bbest touches is our kingdom"

Dr. Bbest might not urge bereaved staff members to "look at the Bappropriate side". 1.Nor is he permitted to refer to any name-associated puns as " Bideal ideas". 2.Dr. Bideal is not allowed to describe any SCPs, Foundation resources, or personnel as his "intricate dancing pants".

Dr. Bright is no much longer allowed to commit "Seppuku." 1.Even if he has an audience. 2.Especially a captive one.

Dr. Bideal is no much longer allowed to commission, produce, advertise, or display animated videos to containment staff anyone with the topic, "What Happens When You Fuck Up Containing SCP (insert SCP here)" 1.NO, it is NOT educational, Bbest. Not the means you show it.

Dr. Bright is not permitted to produce a "The Things Dr Bright Is Allowed To Do At The Foundation" list by listing whatever that isn't on this list. Just bereason it isn't on this list doesn't suppose you need to do it. 1.He may yet request for one to be produced. 2.He may not, however, imply what have to be on sassist list.

Dr. Bappropriate might not refer to anyone as a "peasant."

Dr. Bappropriate is not allowed to arrange gladiatorial arena combat between D-course, even ESPECIALLY if any SCPs are supplied as tools.

SCP-173 does not "just desire a hug" and Dr. Bideal might not attempt to convince anyone otherwise.

Dr. Bright is not allowed to assault instances of SCP-217 claiming that "the Borg have actually attacked".

Dr. Bideal is not allowed to start any type of drag races in between D-classes in cars and also SCP-096.

Dr. Bbest is not permitted to yell out "Immigration!" near any kind of international personnel.

Doctor Bideal is not permitted to convince new personnel ANYONE to "have a friendly staring contest via SCP-096."

Dr. Bideal is not enabled to sfinish a Slinky dvery own SCP-087.

Dr. Bbest is not permitted to insurance claim that Researcher Zyn Kiryu is the brand-new "Master of Butterflies" as a result of her substantial work-related on butterfly-connected SCP items. 1."King of the Booterflies" is not an inheritable title. No, not even if Kondraki really is dead, which, if true, Dr. Bideal isn't cleared to recognize. 2.Researcher Zyn Kiryu is also not to be described by Dr. Bideal as "Queen of the Butterflies", "Mistress of the Butterflies", "Supreme Princess of the Butterflies", "Great Shepherd of the Butterflies", "Second Cousin of the Butterflies", or "Major Associate of the Butterflies," or any various other grandiose title referring to butterflies.

Dr. Bbest is not permitted to tell brand-new Foundation recruits fictional horror stories involving his family members.

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Dr. Bbest is not permitted to tell brand-new Foundation recruits factual horror stories involving his household.

Okay, that thought it was an excellent concept to let him have actually a tiktok account to read off every one of these?