Everyone was impressive last night. I’m not a violent perchild, yet mayyyyybe if they began beating each other up throughout the constant seachild it would certainly be more exciting? Andy Cohen, consider bringing ago Celebrity Death Match but simply for Housewives, because the aftermath of the Porsha Rip Dvery own was actually entertaining.

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The cast was as sober as a grip of judges on their method earlier to the studio, and also Andy was sure to tell viewers that they don’t condone violence. Well, he sort of requirements to amfinish that — they don’t condone physical violence, yet they will let any type of old heifer wave a wand in your challenge and shout at you with a damn megaphone till you are all set to tear your hair out at the root. While Kenya was stumping for the You Withattract, That’s the Law™ campaign on how to deal with violence, NeNe was quick to point out that scepter waving and also megaphone screaming is likewise a violation, and it’s the first time I’ve agreed with NeNe all year. Even Kandi had to remind Andy that she is the captain of the SS Drag-a-Bitch, and things could pop off at any type of minute. Cynthia, blinded right into distractivity by her very own shiny legs, shelp she didn’t feel like Porsha was under attack, but she is both wrong and efficiently usemuch less. If she’s proven anypoint this seakid, it’s that she will certainly protect against confrontation choose a dog licking all the peanut butter off of a pill you’re trying to sneak him. Someone actually dubbed her husband a bitch multiple times, and also she stood there prefer scarecrow (albeit a scarecrow with impeccable cheekbones). Can you usage Kickstarter for bail money? Because if anyone ever dubbed my husband also a bitch, I would be sitting in jail via a smile on my face for snatching every last hair off of her head with my bare hands. I was really through NeNe for the first half of this episode, specifically once she informed Kenya that she was “smart and also sane” as a reason to not engage through her further. Kenya reacts to those words the method vampires react to sunlight. She kept the “poor me” train rolling by talking about exactly how much fighting she’s had to execute in her life, and I dropped off my couch as soon as Kandi said, “What is this, The Color Purple?” and also started mocking Kenya. All I’ve wanted all seaboy was for world to openly mock Kenya!

Did you know that the biggest mystery of our time is not that shot J.R. or why jeans manufacturers can’t simply band together and also figure out a global size currently, but whether or not NeNe and Phaedra kbrand-new each other in Athens? They spent an insulting amount of time on this last night, but we did acquire to hear Phaedra say “slut-bucket” and refute the rumor that being smart precluded her from being the “head doctor,” so it’s not a complete loss. For some factor, Kenya jumped right into the conversation; Phaedra told her to shut up, and that she can’t be a housewife because she can’t gain a husband. Kenya of course made a comment about Apollo straying in retaliation, and also I swear Phaedra wanted to say, “Let him stray! I’m waiting for him to stray all the method ago to prikid so I have the right to obtain on through my damn life.” This was not the insult Kenya assumed it would be. Mama Joyce, whom I simultaneously despise and also want to watch committed, made an appearance to present off her 40-lb. stress and anxiety weight loss and enable us to revel in the flashbacks of her acting like five maniacs fighting six maniacs inside a human-shaped sack. This is a womale via no remorse, that trades in between giggles and outrage like a bath salts addict, that still does not firmly recognize that her daughter is obtaining married in one week, not two. Apparently Todd’s mom dubbed Mama Joyce a bitch? Even though Kandi said they had actually to organize her down at the time, once recounting it, Mama Joyce sounds choose a son reciting a Christmas wish list and also really doesn’t seem to know exactly how to emotionally respond. Mama Joyce is deranged, and since Kandi operates in a cloak of denial, it’s unlikely the womale will ever gain any kind of aid. The actors all laughed alengthy and also placated her, even as soon as she was threatening to choke them out, and also she’s entirely delusional around her duty in her daughter’s misery.

And Kandi is a huge part of the difficulty. Mama Joyce wants ALL the credit for Kandi’s success, discussing exactly how a lot she sacrificed for her children as a way to justify her ongoing emotional abusage. She also asserted crmodify for the residence that we watched Kandi buy her last seakid. Kandi doesn’t feel that her mom demands to justify anypoint when it comes to just how a lot her allowance is or how she earns her living (by living off of her daughter), however she also points out that her mother has opened up credit cards in her name (“One time!”) and also squandered her money on gambling and also the Home Shopping Network-related. You can’t have actually it both means, Kandi! You either offer the woman money she clearly feels she deserves and you don’t gain a say in how she spends it, or you hire a long-overdue caretaker to overcheck out her day-to-day actions and also strap her onto among those Hannibal Lecter boards prefer she deserves.

Finally, in a move that shocked everyone, Cynthia actually stood up for herself once Andy was prepared to resolve her friendship condition through NeNe. She knows that “people think she resides up NeNe’s ass” because she keeps trying to be a good frifinish, however additionally recognizes how little bit NeNe respects her, and also actually names it. It was a revelation to watch her suggest out NeNe’s double standards and also, via tears, define that tbelow is sisterhood and also love, but no respect, from NeNe, that sat and literally pouted the whole time Cynthia was talking. When she finally did talk, she was clipped and rude, and everyone pointed out that her callousness was indicative of specifically what Cynthia was spelling out, the only difference being that NeNe appeared unfazed. NeNe’s default condition was “Cynthia and I deserve to talk about this later,” but Cynthia thanktotally wasn’t falling for it. Phaedra was whispering “Aid her, Jesus” and “Fix it, Jesus” from the other side of the room, but Jesus couldn’t help them — Cynthia isn’t sure if her friendship with NeNe is salvageable, and NeNe only wants to talk around it in cases wright here she deserve to be in complete regulate. I practically jumped out of my seat when Cynthia sassist “I desire the same respect from you that you mean from your friends.” It’s as well negative NeNe isn’t all set to give it. What carry out you think — was NeNe right to want to store her Friendship Summit with Cynthia private? Or was she acting prefer a stuck-up ol’ hag around it?

Next off week, the sunlight implodes as a result of Cynthia finding her backbone.

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Just kidding! It’s the final reunion, and the husbands are coming. Tbelow will be a lot yelling as Kenya calls Apollo a criminal, Peter eats a peach, NeNe tells Kenya she’s the lowest-paid perkid on the present, and Phaedra yells at someone around a “funkbox.” It’s the last show of the seachild — watch you then!