Hey, friends. Last night to be our school science fair and also guess what? ns am the mommy who aided her kid rotate in the worst science fair task ever.

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Now, i know exactly what you’re thinking. You space thinking, “It can’t it is in that bad Renee. You room exaggerating because that the services of humor and also to brighten our day”. Other than I’m not. And get this, not just did mine kid rotate in the worst science fair project ever, but I am on the scientific research Fair Committee…and PTO.

For reals.

It all began a couple of months earlier when the looked prefer there would be no science fair at all since no one to be willing to take it it on. Mine friend, Kayte volunteered come head the up and I volunteered to help her.


Tucker, ever competitive, made decision to carry out a science fair task (of course) and also so walk Apollo. Regardless of the fact that critical year Apollo made decision to execute a report about penguins and also politely decreased working on that every time I argued it (I provided to books, printables and also reading ability).

Finally, ~ above the last day, that said, “can you simply do it for me?” come which i answered (so lovingly)…“um, no“. Therefore he didn’t have actually a job to display…

Somehow, regardless of this experience, i took the bait as soon as Apollo want to participate in the scientific research fair again. While that still loves penguins, his current passion is rocks. “Perfect,” ns thought. “He can do a report ~ above rocks…we deserve to identify the rocks native his collection…” We can do this.

Notice, ns said, “we”?

This year was pretty lot a repeat of critical year. Ns ordered a book about rocks. I got books from the library. We looked at rocks.

And climate it all dropped apart.

Apollo had very little interest in actually doing anything.

So there we were, the night prior to the task was due, equipped with only cardboard, some rocks, glue, and construction paper. Rome wasn’t constructed in a day, however surely a first-grade scientific research project might be.


Please note the level of work done by my charming son.

He colored one snapshot and wrote five words.


Let me simply say the is a really great thing that Elmer’s glue isn’t sponsoring this post because Elmer’s Glue will not adhere construction document to cardboard and don’t believe anyone who claims it will!!!

I essential to figure out something due to the fact that it to be an hour till bedtime…so I decided to staple the document to the cardboard trifold.


I place the trifold board on mine dining room table, opened up the stapler, pounded a couple of times and smiled in ~ my progress.

I visited pick up the trifold board to relocate it to a various position and it was stuck.


To my table.

Yes, mine friends, I stapled the dang poster board/science same project/ carry out of torture to our dining room table.

The table i inherited from mine grandma.

And us weren’t also finished yet.

Next up to be to “identify the rocks”. Simple, right? because we had just learned so much about rocks.

And to make it easier, while Apollo has actually a large collection of rocks that has built up from parks, our driveway and the school playground, he wanted to usage the ones native the absent kit the came with a scientific research kit year ago. Back when I was a cool homeschool mom.

This should have actually been an easy task since the kit came through an index and the rocks were numbered.


This is my house, so why in the civilization would I suppose the table of contents to actually be in the box?

No problem, we would just number it out ourselves.

Um, friends, I’m not a geologist.

We make our finest guesses and also put lock in bags with labels (hand cut by Apollo).

I stapled the bags come the board (not the table) and hoped because that the best.

Impressive, no?

So us loaded up the fam and also headed come the science fair critical night.

Let’s just all it is in thankful the this wasn’t a competition.

While we (no doubt) mislabeled labeling rocks, stuck them in baggies and stapled them come a piece of cardboard, other children showed off your Jacob’s Ladders and 3D printers.

I am simply happy to say that us obviously have actually the market cornered on devastating science same projects.

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I dare you to try to to win this one.

For a mom who homeschooled for 15 years and did remarkable unit studies about Laura Ingalls and also the Titanic, had actually my kids construct an edible Norman Castle and did hand-operated marine biology units I sure seem come suck now…

Do friend have any type of Science Fair task nightmares? please share them in the comments!

And because that the record, Apollo doesn’t read the blog so he can’t be uncomfortable or offended by this. And when the is old sufficient to check out it (and I’m smart sufficient to not encourage science fair projects) I deserve to delete the write-up or get in the Witness defense Program. Perhaps both…