A Court the Mist and Fury web page 1
THE house OF BEASTS
I vomited right into the toilet, hugging the cool sides, trying to contain the sounds of mine retching.
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Moonlight leaked right into the substantial marble bathing room, giving the just illumination together I to be quietly, completely sick.
Tamlin hadn’t stirred together I’d jolted awake. And also when i hadn’t to be able to tell the darkness of my room from the limitless night the Amarantha’s dungeons, when the cold sweat coating me felt like the blood the those faeries, I’d hurtled because that the shower room.
I’d been below for fifteen minutes now, waiting for the retching come subside, because that the lingering tremors to spread apart and fade, favor ripples in a pool.
Panting, ns braced myself end the bowl, counting each breath.
Only a nightmare. One of many, asleep and waking, the haunted me these days.
It had actually been three months due to the fact that Under the Mountain. 3 months that adjusting to my immortal body, come a human being struggling to item itself with each other after Amarantha had fractured it apart.
I concentrated on my breathing—in with my nose, out with my mouth. Over and also over.
When it seemed choose I was done heaving, ns eased native the toilet—but didn’t walk far. Simply to the surrounding wall, near the cracked window, whereby I might see the night sky, whereby the breeze might caress my sticky face. Ns leaned mine head versus the wall, flattening my hands against the cool marble floor. Real.
This to be real. I had survived; I’d made that out.
Unless it was a dream—just a fever-dream in Amarantha’s dungeons, and I’d awaken back in the cell, and—
I cut my knee to my chest. Real. Real.
I mouthed the words.
I retained mouthing them until I might loosen mine grip on my legs and also lift mine head. Ache splintered with my hands—
I’d in which method curled them right into fists therefore tight mine nails were close come puncturing mine skin.
Immortal strength—more a curse 보다 a gift. I’d dented and folded every item of silverware I’d touch for three days upon return here, had tripped over my longer, much faster legs so frequently that Alis had actually removed any kind of irreplaceable valuables from mine rooms (she’d been an especially grumpy about me knocking over a table v an eight-hundred-year-old vase), and had shattered not one, no two, yet five glass doors just by accidentally closeup of the door them also hard.
Sighing with my nose, I unfolded my fingers.
My best hand was plain, smooth. Perfect Fae.
I tilted my left hand over, the whorls that dark octopus coating my fingers, my wrist, my forearm all the means to the elbow, soaking increase the darkness that the room. The eye etched into the facility of mine palm seemed to clock me, calm and cunning as a cat, its slitted pupil wider than it’d been previously that day. As if it readjusted to the light, as any kind of ordinary eye would.
I scowled in ~ it.
At whoever might be watching through that tattoo.
I hadn’t heard native Rhys in the three months I’d been here. No a whisper. Ns hadn’t dared questioning Tamlin, or Lucien, or anyone—lest it’d somehow summon the High lord of the Night Court, somehow repeat him of the fool’s bargain I’d win Under the Mountain: one week v him every month in exchange because that his saving me from the brink of death.
But also if Rhys had actually miraculously forgotten, I never could. Nor could Tamlin, Lucien, or anyone else. Not v the tattoo.
Even if Rhys, at the finish … even if he hadn’t been precisely an enemy.
To Tamlin, yes. Come every various other court the end there, yes. So few went end the borders of the Night Court and also lived come tell. No one really knew what exist in the northernmost component of Prythian.
Mountains and also darkness and also stars and also death.
But i hadn’t felt like Rhysand’s enemy the last time I’d spoken to him, in the hours after Amarantha’s defeat. I’d told no one around that meeting, what he’d stated to me, what I’d confessed come him.
Be happy of your human heart, Feyre. Pity those who don’t feel anything in ~ all.
I squeezed my fingers into a fist, blocking out that eye, the tattoo. Ns uncoiled to my feet, and flushed the toilet prior to padding come the sink come rinse the end my mouth, then to wash my face.
I wished ns felt nothing.
I wished my human being heart had been readjusted with the rest of me, made right into immortal marble. Instead of the shredded little bit of blackness the it currently was, leaking its ichor right into me.
Tamlin remained asleep as I crept earlier into mine darkened bedroom, his naked human body sprawled across the mattress. Because that a moment, I just admired the powerful muscles that his back, therefore lovingly traced through the moonlight, his gold hair, mussed with sleep and the finger I’d run through it while us made love earlier.
For him, I had actually done this—for him, I’d gladly wrecked myself and my immortal soul.
And now I had actually eternity come live through it.
I ongoing to the bed, each action heavier, harder. The sheets were currently cool and dry, and also I slipped in, curling my ago to him, wrapping my arms approximately myself. His breathing to be deep—even. But with mine Fae ear … occasionally I wonder if i heard his breath catch, just for a heartbeat. I never had actually the nerve come ask if he to be awake.
He never ever woke when the nightmares dragged me native sleep; never ever woke once I vomited my guts up night ~ night. If the knew or heard, he claimed nothing around it.
I knew similar dreams chased him from his slumber as often as i fled native mine. The first time it had happened, I’d awoken—tried come speak come him. Yet he’d shaken off my touch, his skin clammy, and had shifted right into that beast of fur and also claws and horns and also fangs. He’d invested the remainder of the night sprawled across the foot that the bed, monitoring the door, the wall surface of windows.
He’d because spent countless nights choose that.
Curled in the bed, ns pulled the blanket higher, desire its warmth against the chill night. That had end up being our unspoken agreement—not come let Amarantha win by acknowledging the she quiet tormented united state in ours dreams and waking hours.
It was simpler to not have to explain, anyway. Come not have to tell him that though I’d freed him, conserved his human being and all of Prythian from Amarantha … I’d broken myself apart.
And i didn’t think even eternity would certainly be long sufficient to deal with me.
“I desire to go.”
I crossed my arms, tucking mine tattooed hand under my appropriate bicep, and also spread mine feet slightly additional apart on the dust floor of the stables. “It’s been three months. Nothing’s happened, and also the village isn’t even five miles—”
“No.” The midmorning sunlight streaming with the steady doors burnished Tamlin’s gold hair together he perfect buckling the bandolier the daggers across his chest. His face—ruggedly handsome, precisely as I’d dreamy it throughout those lengthy months he’d worn a mask—was set, his lips a thin line.
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Behind him, already atop his dapple-gray horse, together with three various other Fae lord-sentries, Lucien silently shook his head in warning, his steel eye narrowing. Don’t press him, he seemed to say.
But as Tamlin strode towards where his black stallion had currently been saddled, i gritted my teeth and stormed ~ him. “The village needs every the aid it can get.”
“And we’re still hunting down Amarantha’s beasts,” that said, mounting his steed in one liquid motion. Sometimes, i wondered if the steeds were just to maintain an appearance of civility—of normalcy. Come pretend that he couldn’t run much faster than them, didn’t live v one foot in the forest. His environment-friendly eyes were prefer chips the ice as the stallion started right into a walk. “I don’t have the sentries to preventive to escort you.”